Perfectionism & Decision-Making

Decision-making for a perfectionist can feel like an impossible chore, because the perfectionist, in seeking anxiously and endlessly to get every detail accurate, can severely lack forgiveness or compassion for the nuance in the perfect imperfectness of life.

In any decision, there is a proportion of both alignment and misalignment, an inevitable mess that will occur from any choice we make. And while we can intuitively sense a path that’s more aligned or makes more sense, perfect alignment in every aspect is impossible + certain intuitive feelings may actually be wound projections.

When we try to evaluate a confusing situation primarily with the mind, we’ll make decisions that don’t completely sit well with us, leaving us antsy, unsatisfied, and unwell. And while we benefit from logical frameworks, spiritual clarity is the priority and foundation above all else.

Decisions, relationships, circumstances, etc aren’t black-and-white, right or wrong, good or bad. Even the choices that lead us astray or confused serve as character-developing parts of our story - a time to learn and grow in the spirit to integrate a new lesson moving forward. When we connect to our internal, eternal source of truth and grace, we have and always will be guided back to growth and glory.

Rather than nitpicking the decision to death, we can instead redirect focus on uncovering what is blocking us from clarity. Asking ourselves: where is our heart confused, and what would help with the confusion? Where is our heart heavy, and what would help lighten the load?

Unintuitively with less mental effort + pressure and more spiritual clarity, the perfectionist will see that what’s more important than choosing “right” is being at peace - knowing that one decision doesn’t handcuff free will, that mess is always a part of the process, that the current choice is the best possible choice from the current frame of reference, that every mistake is forgivable + recoverable, that we can choose the next moment differently, and that there will be fruitfulness regardless of the outcome.

And so, we can breathe.