Create The Life You Desire with Juliana Sih

About a month ago I attended one of Juliana’s workshops: “Project Manage Your Life.” Within the first few minutes I could sense that Juliana was a powerful coach. She made the environment safe and comfortable for sharing personal stories, commanded respect when we needed to focus, and left us all with a feeling of achievement in carrying out personalized and actionable to-do's.

As Juliana points out though, her success comes from overcoming obstacles. As a kid Juliana felt misunderstood from her unique cultural background; at the age of 13 she met her dad for the first time; in high school she was stuck in an emotionally abusive relationship. 

It took time, but Juliana made small steps that brought her to this empowered and confident state she is in today. She’s a strong believer that anyone can change if they really desire to do so. And nowadays she spreads this message through her Leadership Coaching practice + hosting workshops on all sorts of life dilemmas. Her interview is extremely eye-opening and inspiring, so even if you only have 10 minutes to spare in your day ya gotta give this a read. Enjoy!

Interview Transcription

Juliana’s background

It’s been a windy road. Currently, I’m a leadership coach. I support people to level up their lives, improve communication skills and have a better relationship with themselves, both in their personal and professional. I  approach that by shifting people’s mindset to get them out of their own way and into a new, more empowered way of thinking. But, I didn't start off as a coach. I actually have an undergraduate Bachelor’s degree in Biotechnology, and I was doing research out at Methodist in Houston. I found that the medical field was just not my cup of tea. 

Feeling misunderstood from culture + constant transition

In my childhood I went through a lot of transition. I moved often when I was a kid -- I moved to Brazil, lived in a different country, and then moved back. Just being able to relate to people in different ways, being able to adjust and make friends were some of the big obstacles that I had to overcome. I couldn't go to a regular school in Brazil because I didn't know Portuguese well enough to actually be in school, so I had to have my own private teacher. It was challenging from a social perspective because I was outgoing and I wasn’t aware of the cultural differences so I had to adjust accordingly. Then when I came back to America, I actually remember this instance as a kid, I was in preschool and I wanted more green beans. I kept saying “mais, mais” - the Portuguese word for more,  and the teacher just didn't understand me. 

I started to feel misunderstood, probably  because of the cultural change or the experience of transition. I grew up with my mom, who was a single mom. When I was 13, I met my dad. And then at 18, I moved to Houston where my dad lives. I got to know him while at the same time going to college in Houston. I didn't realize how much resentment I had for my dad. I had this expectation or vision of what our relationship would look  like, which did not come to fruition. I rebelled against him hard and it became a detriment to both myself and our relationship. There was still a lot of anger, resentment, frustration, expectation, righteousness, all inside of me that had to be processed. 

The toll of an emotionally abusive boyfriend

I had a very emotionally abusive boyfriend in high school. I don't know why I stayed with him. But, you know, when you're young, we just don't know any better. When I went off to college, he would say things to me like, “Why are you studying engineering? You're not smart enough.” I let those voices infiltrate me. Part of the process of becoming confident and secure in who I am was to face those voices and  really let go of them, of who I think I need to be. I think we have a lot of beliefs from our parents. My mom was amazing -- she was a single mother and she worked her ass off. But in some ways, I think that my insecurities came from her as well, from familial traits that were passed down. There were some insecurities around not having a father also. I didn't grow up with a dad until I was 18. That probably played into my insecurities, especially with men around feeling wanted. 

I think we let ourselves tolerate too much for too long, knowing deep down that something's off, not right or just needs to change. It's funny because I already knew for a long time that I needed to break it off with him because he was just abusive, mean, and kind of like a bully. But I didn't. 

When enough is enough

One day, when you feel like you’ve hit rock bottom and then you will listen and be like: Ok yes, I know this is not working out. That’s how my subconscious works. There becomes a point where things aren’t working and know something needs to shift. I typically try not to wait that long. It’s just that with relationships it’s more challenging. 

That particular emotionally abusive relationship ended abruptly because I was in Houston and he was in California, so it was easier to end. The trickle effect after that was much harder to get through. Even though you get rid of the relationship, and I think this is common for a lot of people, it doesn’t mean all of the voices go away. I carried baggage for years after that. We all carry baggage for years and years and if we’re not proactive about what’s running through our brain, we will get stuck. We need to consistently be cultivating a beautiful garden or else we get stuck in a bunch of weeds. I had a lot of weeds in my mental garden space.

Juliana’s inspiration for coaching

I was at a low point in my life. I was in college and I was lost about what I wanted to do. The first thing that got me into “mindset” and how our thoughts create our reality was a movie called The Secret. It's based on the Law of Attraction and how your thoughts manifest our reality. College is such a place of transition, growth and trying to figure things out that I was naturally drawn to The Secret. Up until that point, I never put much thought into my thoughts; they were just running in my mind. That movie opened me up to feeling like I had some control of that aspect of myself.

Feeling that life was too stagnant

When I was living in Houston I had reached a point where things had become stagnant. I had been wanting to create a coaching practice for about a year maybe even two. Although I had a few clients, I wasn't making my business work the way I wanted to. I wasn't taking enough risks, I wasn't putting myself out there, I didn't know what to do. I thought: I can move, but where would I move? What am I going to do?

I decided to go on a trip over Christmas and New Year's break in 2016 to Big Bend National Park in Texas. When you open yourself up to something, you better be ready for the universe to gift you and willing to accept it  because it will give you exactly what you want. So I went on this trip to Big Bend and I met this guy there. He was traveling cross-country from New York to California. He was totally liberated and free. This person opened up my eyes to how attached I was to Houston and to the possibility of moving to CA.

Listening to her intuition and manifesting her desires

A few months later a recruiter on LinkedIn had reached out to me and I interviewed for a job in L.A. I ended up getting the job and moved! I think the moral of the story and why I want to share this is because it's really important for people to get clear about what they want. People don't need to figure everything out by themselves. Answers come through the universe or God or whatever you want to call it. Just be ready to listen to it, because when you don't listen, it will affect your intuition and the trust within yourself. We know especially as women, we're very intuitive and we often don't listen to it. But during that time I had to overcome all the challenges of first the interview, then accepting the job and thinking: is this what I really want? Those are all really contemplative moments for the psyche. Going through transitions can be challenging, but having a vision  and something to work towards helps overcome obstacles.

Juliana’s greater vision of empowerment is what keeps her going

The dream of making an impact kept me going. When I was young, I wanted to be a doctor. And then when I got to college, I realized this isn't quite what I wanted. Then I started to create another dream -- I wanted to travel more and I wanted to explore the world. Eventually now what I want to do is create more impact, to be more in front of people and help people to live fulfilled lives.

I feel really lit up when I can support a client in doing something that they've been resisting for a long time, supporting them to actually create the next steps, and be the structure big enough to do it. I also love supporting friends, family or my boyfriend to help them see things differently.  We don't realize how much impact we have every single day, like as we walk around you could either be looking at the ground and being mopey or you can smile at every single person you see. It will give you as the person smiling as well as the people around you a different experience. Even in simple things -- I love when I can smile at someone on the street and they'll smile back. That makes me really happy.

I used to be really insecure; I was like a wallflower. So, what I want to be remembered for is making people know how powerful and how great they are so that they can live out their full potential. I want to be remembered for helping people reach their next level, getting out of that funk, shifting their reality and moving through it quicker. 

The process of creating successful morning/night routines

What I'm noticing more nowadays is that I really need a good morning and evening routine. I don't think I quite valued that five years ago. But, I've been finding that having a good morning and nightly habit keeps me in my Being. 

My morning habit is: I wake up around 5:30 and I go for a run up the hill in San Francisco. Then I have a coffee, because that's my reward. My boyfriend will come with me; we'll do it together. And then typically I'll take a shower, have breakfast, and then I go into what I call ‘clearing’, where I throw all my thoughts out in a writing exercise. Then I create a stand for my day, like, who am I going to be today outside of all these circumstances and thoughts. This process takes about 10-15 minutes. Then I meditate for 20 minutes and after I typically create the top six things that I want to do today or even top three things that if I did that day, I'd be completely satisfied. 

I go to bed around 10:00pm. I find that if I stay up too late, like 10:30 or 11:00, I snooze longer and am more distracted the next day. I like to read and or write before I go to bed, so I try to get to bed around 9:30. If I can't get to the reading, I just go to bed around 10:00. That's been a process that I built up starting with just working out, then adding the meditation and the clearing. So it’s been layers added on layers.  

Why having a coach is beneficial

I'm a coach and I also have a coach. I think it’s important for coaches to also be growing and expanding themselves. If Steve Jobs didn’t own an iPhone, that would be weird. Similarly, a coach should have their own coach. No matter where I'm at in life, I will figure out a way to have a coach. Because for me I just get all tangled up in my mind so I need the support in unravelling things, keeping me on track for my goals and holding me accountable.

I could have delayed my process of becoming a full time coach and leaving my corporate job, and it was actually a coach that reflected back to me and said, “I don't think you're gonna make coaching work while you have a corporate job”. I thought: Oh, crap, yeah. I'm too comfortable with the salary and I'm too busy with my nine to six job to actually make this work. It was at that point that I realized that I needed to save up some money and make the jump. 

Juliana’s upcoming projects

I'm drafting a book and I want to publish it within the next year. Over the years, I’ve accumulated a lot of content. The next step is to put it all together into a book format, and publish it. I love being on stage. I love hosting workshops and feel like I really get into a flow when I am presenting and leading. It's similar to why I like coaching, I love being with people, in the moment. And I also want to continue growing my business and have more offerings. I have ongoing self-love projects where I continually work to explore my creativity, expand my trust and faith. 

Juliana’s takeaways for you

I think it’s important to know that no one is going to get through life without any type of hardship -- and if you do, you aren’t dreaming big enough. In fact, you wouldn't actually enjoy all the beautiful moments if you didn't have the hardship. If my business, for example, just worked and I was on stage already and I didn't have to struggle at all to get there, then I wouldn't even appreciate it. I would just think ‘Oh, yeah, this thing happened.’ There would be no real satisfaction. The hardships provide opportunities for growth and learning. 

The other piece of advice that I've  received that was really great is: “Create structures greater than the  level of your resistance.” We all have resistance, and on our own, we're not reliable to overcome it. With a big enough structure, you can do anything. Whether the structure is a friend to go work out with you so you can get out of bed or, you need to go with someone to a networking event so you can go talk to people. Find the structure that's big enough to overcome your resistance and you can achieve anything.